CHILD EDUCATION
Nov 7, 2008
Syeh Puji, a 45-year old billionaire in Central Java married a 12-year old girl. What do you think of this issue? Explore your arguments from Child Psychology perspectives.
Mengenai Saya
- Anita Lie
- Prof. Dr. Anita Lie mendapatkan gelar Doktor Pendidikan dalam bidang kurikulum dan pengajaran dari Baylor University, Amerika Serikat pada 1994. Pada 1996 dia menjadi dosen tamu di SEAMEO RELC, Singapore. Dia juga pernah menjadi dosen tamu di beberapa universitas di antaranya Kwansei Gakuin, Fu Jen University, Chinese University of Hong Kong, Ateneo University dan De La Salle University, University of Brunei Darussalam, Universiti Putra Malaysia dan Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia. Dia mendapatkan penghargaan The Rotary International Ambassador of Good Will dan 2000 SEAMEO Jasper Fellowship Award dari pemerintah Kanada untuk kategori penelitian terbaik. Saat ini, Anita Lie berkarya sebagai Direktur EduBusiness Consulting (www.edubusiness.info), dosen di Universitas Katolik Widya Mandala, Surabaya. Anita Lie menulis artikel-artikel untuk media massa serta buku-buku pendidikan di antaranya 101 Cara Menumbuhkan Rasa Percaya Diri Anak, 101 Cara Mengembangkan Kecerdasan Anak, 101 Cara Menumbuhkan Kemandirian dan Tanggung Jawab Anak, Cooperative Learning, English via Environmental Education, Building Bridges, dan Beyond the Classroom.
38 komentar:
Tip of iceberg.
Based on some articles i have read, this "law-bending pedophile practice" has actually been a common sense in many rural areas in our country. One place which reflects the "Syekh Puji Case" the best would be Indramayu.
In Indramayu, West Java, many parents urge their underage daughters to get married before getting older than 14-16 years old. Many cultural and religious reasons backup their actions:
- they believe that a teenage girl who's had her puberty and is not yet married will hold the title "perawan tua" (old virgin; old single)
- they are stuck in a mass-local concern that their teenage daughters will practice sexual activities before they are married under the religious law (even if the daughters don't do the sex, the parents still don't want any "fitnah" from the society)
- they believe some verses in The Holy Quran justify and even urge the practice
The last reason has also been the advocacy of choice to Syekh Puji and other "Grooms to Underage" in Indonesia. They call themselves "good Moslems who just follow his Prophet's path". Fortunately, we still have people like Siti Musdah Mulia (director of Indonesian Conference on Religion and Peace) who is a good Moslem and yet has her mind clear to break Syekh Puji's defense.
We shall not argue any further on religious topic; we just have to see the facts that lie under "the tip of the iceberg". Many other reasons should be seen seriously as the cause of this pedophilia practice, e.g.: economic background of the teenagers' parents.
Beyond all that, and beyond my concern about the physical and psychological health of the teenagers, my personal opinion on the the topic is: let's just put the apes into the jail and protect the girls.
A 12-year old girl married with a 45-year old man! Maybe because the man is rich, the girl wants to marry with him.The man should be put in jail, because he married with a girl under the age. The girl doesn't want to get divorce with Syeh Puji. She said that she was happy to live with him.The girl asks the people to pray to God so that she can live happily with Syeh Puji. Personally, I don't agree with this marriage because the bride is to young. But the girl is happy with the marriage and she doesn't want to return to her family. In conlusion, if they both love each other, it's okay for them to continue their marriage. Hope they could live happily ever after!
What comes to my mind when i heard about this issue is "crazy".the girl with her age 11 years old must be protected and get well education. But this "crazy" man merry her as if he is hire a new "servant".
It's really beyond our normal point of view. The problem also appears from the girl herself, last time i saw the news she said " I am so happy living with him, he is nice and kind. So why people make them self busy to complaint about it. Please stop complaining about us".
What a surprising comment fro this little girl. An 11 years old girl who should be at school, learning and playing now has become a wife. It's really-really make me speachless. It's really a big mistakes from many points of view (phsicology, religious, moral,etc).
That kind of creature like Syekh Puji must be put in mental hospital, I guess.
nonce says:
- I think Syekh Puji did a wrong action. He must think, how if his own daughter (little daughter, in the elementary school) is getting married with an old man?
- he must be sent to "RSJ" to get treatment.
- It will effect the Ulfa' psychology. By getting married in young age,Ulfa will lost her childhood. She is forced to be a wife, and to be a mother later. As we know, she doesn't have any experience to take care children, how the children will be?
- Ulfa will be depressed and get crazy.
- in fact, child in the age of 12, has labile emotion and she is not mature and independent. She still depends on her parents.
In her 12- year old, a girl has to have a good education and good environment. She has imagination thought as childhood.
Related with “Syekh Puji case”, I absolutely disagree with the issue. What a pity girl in her young age, she got married. On the other hand, she still has a chance to have a beautiful childhood period. Married underage is criminalizing. As a women, we have to have good education to face our future.
As we know, there are many traditional believe that found in some areas, such as:
- A girl has to get married at least 16 years old.
- A girl doesn’t need higher education.
And many more….
But, in other point of view, we couldn’t blame Syekh solely. The girl agreed to get married. She wants the marital so, why not?
This issue make us so shock...
Syekh Puji is a rich man and now to be famous because he was married with Lutfiana Ulfa, a girl who 12 years old. It’s sound crazy but this story is real. Syekh Puji ia a businessman and cars collector. He knows very well about his religion but he not has enough knowledge about our law and tradition.
Based on the syariah Islam , what he was doing is correct and good. He helps and caring other people but based on our law, it’s totally wrong. We must stop it right now before it is to be our society habit.
I think make syekh Puji and Lutfiana ulfa divorce is not the best way. It’s late. Lutfiana Ulfa already fell shy with her marriage and lost her virginity. Syekh Puji is not a wise man, he only thinks about his pleasure without thinking about psychology and psychical of Ulfa
Be wise and don’t duplicate him.
yeah,i have read about this news many times recently "Syeh puji marry a 12 year old young girl named Ulfa to be his second wife"
i really don't agree with what syeh puji has done..
based on him,the reason why he marry Ulfa is that he wants to help ulfa's family from poverty,and put Ulfa as his "GM" in his company..
Based on me,if he wants to help Ulfa from poverty,why doesn't he pays for Ulfa's school fee??
why should he marry her?? with marry Ulfa, automatically he has already stopped Ulfa to decide her own future...To decide her own desires in her life...This is such of exploitation children I think!!!
furthermore, as a child, Ulfa should gets enough attention from her parents, but what she gets right now is the contrary... She has become her parents' desires!!
i'm sure that this marriage has contains a trafficking side,and exploitation children under the proper age...
From the Ulfa's physcology side,I'm sure tha Ulfa will depress with her changing status right now as a wife, ulfa not as free as before... also, she is still to young to get married, she also still young to go in bed with Syeh puji....she doesn't understand about it...
Syeh puji should be in jail as soon as possible!! before he takes more and more victims, because he said that he wants to marry another young girls (9 year old and 7 year old girls!!!), I think he is goins insane and have "kelainan seksual".if he a normal man,i don't think that he will do this crazy action..
whatever his reason done this stupid actions,I'm totally disagree with Him!!! He must be in jail RIGHT NOW!!!
THANK YOU ^^V
yeah,i have read about this news many times recently "Syeh puji marry a 12 year old young girl named Ulfa to be his second wife"
i really don't agree with what syeh puji has done..
based on him,the reason why he marry Ulfa is that he wants to help ulfa's family from poverty,and put Ulfa as his "GM" in his company..
Based on me,if he wants to help Ulfa from poverty,why doesn't he pays for Ulfa's school fee??
why should he marry her?? with marry Ulfa, automatically he has already stopped Ulfa to decide her own future...To decide her own desires in her life...This is such of exploitation children I think!!!
furthermore, as a child, Ulfa should gets enough attention from her parents, but what she gets right now is the contrary... She has become her parents' desires!!
i'm sure that this marriage has contains a trafficking side,and exploitation children under the proper age...
From the Ulfa's physcology side,I'm sure tha Ulfa will depress with her changing status right now as a wife, ulfa not as free as before... also, she is still to young to get married, she also still young to go in bed with Syeh puji....she doesn't understand about it...
Syeh puji should be in jail as soon as possible!! before he takes more and more victims, because he said that he wants to marry another young girls (9 year old and 7 year old girls!!!), I think he is goins insane and have "kelainan seksual".if he a normal man,i don't think that he will do this crazy action..
whatever his reason done this stupid actions,I'm totally disagree with Him!!! He must be in jail RIGHT NOW!!!
THANK YOU ^^V
rosa says:
- Syekh Puji must be uneducated man!!! He doesn't think that Ulfa still under the age in which she isn't mature enough. He just think about his desire...!!!
- From Ulfa side, I think Ulfa gets voodoo. How can she want to get married with a man who can be her grandfather?
- I really disagree with Syekh Puji and Ulfa because marriage needs the readiness from the couple...the age, the psychology, etc.
For me, the ideal age to get married is above 22.
and the psychology is they are mature enough...for example, the couple has already had a job...however Ulfa's psychology is still labile.
Islam teaches the follower that they may marry another woman as if they aimed to help her or rise her up from the poorness. that's the reason why Syekh Puji doesn't feel guilty.
But, all of normal people will be able to think that it is so crazy and it is not like a human atitude at all.
So pity of her that a 12 year old girl have to be sacrificed to the rich man, and exchange her with only some of money. Actually, at this age of child, she is still on having fun mode. She should play with her peers, and do what other children do.
We can see here that her psychology must be disturbed, and she gets phobia of man or adult. So that she can't grow normally like others.
Actually, how impolite the parents who give their child only for their passion to be rich.
I think those kind of mindkinds; Syekh Puji, and the girl's parents must be entirely crushed!
And the government must be rehabilitate the girl, save her future!
Marrying a twelve-year-old girl while he himself is 45 years old and has a wife. Who in the world would consider it OK? if I'm not mistaken Syekh Puji said that his intention in marrying the little girl is that to protect her from the bad" influence of the surroundings. He also said that if he married an adult woman then the woman would not have a pure heart anymore because she had been influenced by the surroundings. Furthermore, he stated that he would not have sex with the girl until the girl is 16 years old or something...I forget... However, I cannot imagine how the little girl's feeling toward her parents and the condition happened to her right now. Maybe she does not really understand what she is doing right now because she is still in the identity confusion. Maybe she is still in the track of finding who she really is. And in this stage children must be guided with a right guidance by her parents. The parents' role here is really important. Parents must protect their children, especially when the children are not mature enough to do things and to decide things. It is their duty to help their children to get the best in many fields of areas, such as education, social life, etc.
It is not the time for her to get married to someone. It is the time for her to have a good education and social life with her family and peers, NOT with a 45-year old husband. It is her right to have a "normal" life. This little girl will not have a life, like how it must be at her age. Well, I do not agree with this kind of practice, marrying a girl under-age because it is not the time for them to have such a life like this. Also, physically and psychologically a twelve-year-old girl is still not ready to get married, actually.
a girl married an old man is very crazy. i mean the old man is crazy and the parents of that girl is crazy too. because in my opinion it is not a common problem for me. the old man has already have a wife and marry a girl is not allowed in our country. actually this marriage will never happen if the parents didn't allow their daughter to marry with Syeh Puji this problem wolud not be appear. Syeh Puji will be a better and gentle man if he not marry little girl anymore for every reasons that he has.
marriage with young age will cause many problems to the woman. the woman will get some diseases such as serviks cancer. and usually the marriage will not long lasting for the couple. and of course woman will get so many disadvantages in the whole of her life.
The first time I hard about this news, I was very shocked! An eleven year old child, getting married with a 43 yeay old man?? How come???
I believe that this must be something hiding from this event. What is the purpose of marrying an-underage girl? Does the girl really loves him ad lves happily with him?? Does the girl know, what is "love"? Is she mature enough to be a wife?? Is it really what she wants, or maybe those are some money politics behind it??
Well, we never know. But i my opinion, althouh the girl said that she is happy, it seems like she isn't at all. She never appears to be smiling even in newspaper or television. Maybe she can say that she is happy, but her attitude doesn't show it at all. Maybe she has to marry him because he is rich, and she needs the money for her family's prosperousity?
Well, inspite of that case, we have to see the girl's psychology herself. She is still a teenager, she isn't mature enough and not ready to be a wife, or even a-mom yet. A girl of that age should be well-educated, have a big dream, and can do what she wants. Living a marriage life is like putting her into a cage- "a bird in a cage". I'm afraid that this marriage wll destroy her happiness and her future. I'm afraid taht she will regret her decision somewhere in the future.
On the other hand, I believe that if Syeh Puji really loves her, he should think about the girl's happiness, about her future. Let her experiences her teenage-life, let her be with her friends, let her gets a normal-happy life.
In conclusion, I believe that this marriage should't have happened. Both man and girl should be brought to phsyciatrist, it might help. And please, follow the law. Let's fight against underage marriage and protect woman.....!
I think these cases are very complicated and little bit "crazy". Actually the marriage of Syeh Puji with the girl underage is strongly prohibited by the law of marriage Moslem and the Constitution of this country. as I heard from the news yesterday the girl said that she was very happy to live with Syeh Puji.
According to me this marriage is unreasonable, it just want to make a big sensation in this country. the parents of that underage girl should protect and give some treatment for her. Then, the girl must finish her study first after that she can marry (it based with the girl age). i believe that if Syeh Puji marry with that girl, it can make she is in under pressure on her phsyical condition and her mentality.
I also have read the articles about Syeh Puji and his case about marrying a twelve years old girl. What comes to my mind, at first is, this is the effect of the unclear laws in Indonesia. Some people follow the state’s laws but some of them prefer to follow the religion’s law and there is no certain ‘wall’/ rules to separate it.
However, all things in this case are wrong. The first error is marrying a twelve years old child; the second is promoting this CHILD as the president director of his enterprise just because this little girl is clever.
First, it is a BIG CRIME to get married with the underage child. Children, on that ages, should have a good education in knowledge and morality (from her parents and teacher), to be a better person when she becomes an adult someday, but this mad man, (let’s say) destroying this little girl’s future by marrying her. This girl has to jump to a period where she should not be there yet.
The period when she has to be a housewife, act like a housewife and maybe, in the near future, she has to be a mother… so what will she do with her children then..??
Will she able to teach and guide her child to be a good person..?? I don’t think so…
And when this is happen, there will be much more uneducated children in Indonesia.
One thing that should be done RIGHT NOW is, put this crazy old creature in to the jail…!!!
In my opinion, Syeh Puji shouldn't married Ulfa, 12 years old girl. He said that he intended to help Ulfa's economical problem. On the contrary, she still has to finish her education. By finishing her study, automatically she will be able to earn her money and support her family's needs. I think marrying her is not a reason for supporting her economical problem. There's another way to help Ulfa. Moreover, the Islamic rules states that people should not obey the law. It is said in the law that people who marry underage would be punished.
Every parents must be responsible for their children and have the duty to protect those children. The term 'underage' exists to define the children's condition in which they are still considered very young and lack of ability to decide important things without their parents help.
The little girl is still 12 years old. On that age, the girl is confused with finding who she really is (everyone becomes so labil in this age). Although she has the ability to think abstractly about what is happening and what will happen as the result, that ability has not developed perfectly. She cannot think about something that very far from the present. And she still cannot make the right decision about marriage--something that will last until she die and has the lifetime consequences.
The man has already had a wife before he marry the little girl. How do you think is the wife feeling toward her husband marriage??? I can say that every woman will not be happy to be in that condition. And also the Syekh Puji himself, he has bussiness to do, he has another wife to take care of, and he probably has children to raise as well. Is that an ideal environment to raise a teenager girl??? Among an 'old' busy husband, unhappy elder wife, and perhaps step children.
Can the girl grow up healthily mentally and physically??
In that age, she need a lot of affection and guidance to find out her identity. She need parents protection to make her feel that she is going to be able to pass the difficult times during her teen ages. She need someone who always says "Don,t worry, everythigng will be okay" everytime she face troubles. Without those things, she will end up in identity confusion. Further, she will end up in isolation.
The question is, can Syekh Puji give all of these things for the girl??? I doubt he can.
The girl's parents actually can give those to her. But... Where are they??
sorry... ^^
this "guardian angel" is belongs to Melissa (1213005026)
When I heard this issue, spontaneously I just say: is he crazy enough?
Although he is billionaire man. May be he is really pedophile. But, realize that we, Indonesia has a lot of culture that allowed man married with many woman, event the woman is under marriage age. Many aspect also require in this case such as an economic background, knowledge background, and society
According to my experiences, when I went to a village in Jember, I met a girl; about 15 years old asked me: “have you marriage?” I said “no” then she told me that she got marriage when she was 12 years old and her husband 17 years old then she explain to me that in her culture it is common, they believe that a girl should be marriage early, the parents proud that their daughter is already marriage when they graduate from elementary school, if not they will call “perawan tua” so that’s why parents are quite busy to finding a spouse for their daughter. No chance for the girls to set their future. And also the other reason from religious aspect.
I prefer to give a comment from the psychology or health perspective. As well as I know, it is not good for very young women to get marriage, because physically their reproduction is not ready enough and it could be one of the sex child abuse or human trafficking practice.
Base on pedophile articles that I have read: childhood emotional abuse and family dysfunction, childhood behavior problems, and childhood sexual abuse could the developmental risk contributor for pedophilia and it could found in Syekh pass experiences.
Finally, I don’t agree with Syekh decision, married with the 12 years old girl.
I think in these cases, Ulfa is an object to be sacrifice by her parents to get some advantages from her marriage. I think the marriage can be happen because Syekh Puji is a rich man, so the girl wants to marry with him. It also may be caused by her parents. I think Ulfa parents have an important role in this case because Ulfa will not marry with Syekh Puji without her parents' permission. They should not let their child to marry early, especially with the crazy old man like Syekh Puji. It same that they have destroyed their child's happiness. In the future when their daughter gets the bad affect that caused by the early marriage, I think Ulfa parents will regret their decision. And it will be just too late. I think now Ulfa will get confused whether she does this marriage or not, especially after her marriage published in many media and be a big sensation in our country. Ulfa an 12 years old girl that should be learning at school and playing with her friends now become a wife and serve her husband.
According to the theories, whether it is Piaget’s, Freud’s, Erikson’s, or any others’, a person can be called a child when he/she is at the age of 3-11years old. Then, at the age of 11-15, a person is in the stage of puberty, or adolescent years, called teenager.
During the adolescent years, teenagers are still mentally unstable. Their ways of thinking are still simple as they can only differ between the black and white, not the grey one. They are still idealistic. When they are in a relationship, they think that the perfect boyfriend or girlfriend is a beautiful/handsome, smart, kind, patient, and other good things. They are easily influenced by other people’s point of views, opinions, and so on. This case happens to that girl. Before she got married, she cried and seemed that she objected the marriage, but now she said that she did not want to have a divorce because she loved him. It is so confusing.
In addition, according to our law, a woman can get married when she is 20 years old, and a man 25 years old. This girl’s age doesn’t fill the criterion of marriage age. She is even still 13 years old.
Therefore, I definitely disagree with this kind of marriage although in some cultures, marriage during adolescent years is a custom and it is done because their parents are afraid that they will do the premarital sexual intercourse. Teenagers should not be allowed to get married at their early age because it is the time for them to have an education, socialize with friends and explore the world. They are not mature yet. If they got married too early, I’m afraid that they will get divorce. So, early-aged-marriage should be banned.
On the other hand, Syeh Puji seems that he has a deviation. He married a girl that was only suitable to be his daughter. He is even older than that girl’s parents. He seemed to be a pedophile. Why did not he find another woman who had been mature enough to be his wife?
Anyway, if people say that Syeh Puji should be put in jail and she should be returned to her parents, I don’t think it will be a good idea, especially if they have done husband and wife ’thing’. It will be a shameful thing for the girl. It is a dilemma for sure.
Therefore,the experts should find the best essence to solve this problem so that girl won’t be harmed. It is better to know deeply her feeling and she should not be influenced by other people’s opinion, point of view, or thought.
When I read the article about Syeh Puji, i am very surprised think he is a very crazy man. Based on some articles I have read that he has married with a 12 years old girl. This marriage is done because this girl is pressured. Her family is poor and needs some money to fulfill their life. She may want to make her parents happy.
Her parents have important role to this unusual marriage because according to their faith, without parents' permission, children will not marry. So, I think parents should guide their children to the right way including about marriage.
Early marriage will influence Ulfa's life, especially her psychologist. She will lose her teenage life. At the age of 12, she should feel free to do something and also she develops their characteristics.
So, I think Syeh Puji must be sent to jail before he does it again with another girl!!
Based on the articles that I have read, there are many cases about marriage at the underage especially in east java. And one of the cases is Syeh Puji, a 45-year old billionaire in Central Java who has married a 12-year old girl. The article says that, Syekh Puji who is known as the owner of Pondok Pesantren (Ponpes), married Ulfa on august 08, 2008. “Ulfa is given a director’s position in his company, a brass industry” said Syekh Puji.
This case happened because of some reasons. Some parents say that they worry about their daughters if some days their daughter will become “perawan tua” and it is a bad luck. Second is education; “Because of resigned from school, then my daughter is proposed, I accept it. My daughter is Reni Febriyanti who had married at the age before 16. However, Reni’s marriage is the same as the age of” corn”. Now, she has been divorced by Wawan.” said Munawi, Ajung Jember (surya post). That is the other example of the other case. We can see that education is one of the important reasons why marriage underage happened. If they had resigned from school, there is nothing to do and they become unemployment at home. Beside that, they have to survive in the poverty. So, what if there is a rich guy who wants to marry their daughter? Of course with that background and economic conditions, the parents will accept the marriage proposal.
However, this action has become a culture in some areas of Indonesia. Besides that, the parents didn’t see the other views of their daughter, such as the health, the happiness, the successful in marriage, and the other things that we cannot see by eyes. Even some news said that Ulfah is happy in her marriage now but it cannot guarantee that all things that will happen tomorrow. I think this is unhealthy marriage. Because Ulfah is still a teenage, she only can think simply. Maybe in her mind she only thinks that Syekh is the perfect men for her, the rich men that can make her happy. She is still in her unstable stage that can be influenced by others views.
In my opinion, this kind of actions should be defeated by giving the proper education for the lower people and the Adams also should realize about what they are going to do.
Actually, this news is not shocked me that much. Grew up in Papua made me face lots of cases like this. It’s common, when one of my girl friends in elementary school, dropped out from school because they got married with men that actually could become their father or uncle. And this time, a great case is showing up in our country Mr. Syekh Puji a-43-year-old man is married Ulfa, a-12-year-old girl.
A 12 years old girl is still in pre-puberty stage. It means she is not ready yet biologically, emotionally, and psychologically for being a mother or a wife. I assumed that actually there are lots of reasons behind that marriage, beside ‘LOVE’, the best reason that Mr. Syekh and Ulfa use to defend their marriage.
-Economy : Common reason, actually. Ulfa is ‘used’ to protect her family from the poverty by marrying Mr. Syekh. Common story in Indonesia actually, in soap operas, or novels,… Siti Nurbaya, for example… For some ancient family, that’s what daughters are for…
-Culture : Ancient Javanese family will be really proud if their girls ‘laku cepat’, get married as soon as possible, moreover with somebody who are rich. And this belief shaped their daughters’ perspective about getting married. Maybe for them, since they were a kid, they see getting married as a social competition. The first is the best. The last will asshamed their family.
-Phedopilia : Mr. Syekh is really interested in marrying young girls. Besides Ulfa, this month he is planning to marry 2 other young girls, 9 and 7 years old. He is totally sick!
There will be lots of bad things happen in Ulfa’s development. The marriage will force her to grow up as a wife, and as a young mother wannabe. She will lose her chance to play like the other girls in her age. She will lose her young ages. And Mr. Syekh with all of her money and companies can’t pay or change for it. I’m not an optimistic person, and I –in this case- believe that there will be more and more Mr. Syekh in Indonesia, that will do this kind of marriage in the name of religion and Love. Marrying little girl just for fulfilling their desire.
Syekh Puji’s case only represented the reality of the children life in poor country. He is an ‘old man’ with no wise and modern point of view. He forced his will but ignored Ulfa’s. He is as a billionaire person and has a good position as a society leader in religion, stand behind his faith. He married Ulfa because there is a rule in his religion to legal his married. On the other hand, Ulfa feels happy and safe and proud becomes a wife of a wealthy man. These reasons make her asks public to ignore and let her marriage run as it is.
Studying this case, make me feel poor for Indonesian men and society. They only put burden on children to pay parents’ debt or economical reason to legal their action. Honestly, I don’t agree with all this. Based on the children development theories, this is not good for Ulfa. She needs time to go trough many stages to become a mature woman both physical and psychology. Ulfa will not be able to do her job as a wife and mother; she will face many obstacles in her marriage life. She will not produce excellent generations because Ulfa herself has not had enough preparation to guide and lead her children in the future. The result is this country will have no future with young generations from mother like Ulfa.
From the children psychology development side, I totally disagree and curse this guy. Children seem has no right to develop and grow trough their normal stages. Ulfa is only as the victim of her society and family condition. She is too young to have her own logic decision. Ulfa will live in sorrow, depression and failure in facing this hard and difficult life.
At the first time I heart about Syeh Puji and his new wife, Ulfa, I really interest to the case. There are many point of view that given by the public. Syeh Puji said that he did this because he wanted to be a good Moslem. He said that in Moslem, they can have wife more than one in any age as long as the girl has already puberty. He would not care about anything that people said. He always thinks that he is right.
I have some opinion about that case.
- Ulfa is too young to get married. She is not ready to have a family. In her age, she supposes to have fun with her friends at the same age and study to get more education for her future. She should develop her self in spiritual and mental.
- Our country is a country that based on the law. Our law in Indonesia doesn’t allow people to get married under 17 years old. In this case, Syeh Puji does that because of Moslem allow him to do that. For me, the government should put Syeh Puji in the jail because we are law country that based on the law and not on the religion.
- Based on the psychological development, marriage under age can cause the people cannot get their dream and they will be stuck to be creative.
The first impression that come in my mind to Syeh Puji are he is a unreasonable man. He uses his welth to marry a girl under age.
I think Syeh Puji is too fast to decide to marry Ulfa. He should wait Ulfa until she is 17 years old. Beside, eventhough, Ulfa is also love him. He married Ulfa to cover his mental illness. Actually, I think he is an maniac, and dissolute. He has broken the Indonesian morality in world's eyes. He has been ashamed the name of Indonesia. He must realize that in Indonesia there is a marriage law, children law, and so on. Nowadays, Marriage is not about love anymore. But, the couple also have to think about the others factor beside matrial (money). There is also a law which arrange people to acts rightly.
-Marcellina Fanny (1213005010)-
The first impression that come in my mind to Syeh Puji are he is a unreasonable man. He uses his welth to marry a girl under age.
I think Syeh Puji is too fast to decide to marry Ulfa. He should wait Ulfa until she is 17 years old. Beside, eventhough, Ulfa is also love him. He married Ulfa to cover his mental illness. Actually, I think he is an maniac, and dissolute. He has broken the Indonesian morality in world's eyes. He has been ashamed the name of Indonesia. He must realize that in Indonesia there is a marriage law, children law, and so on. Nowadays, Marriage is not about love anymore. But, the couple also have to think about the others factor beside matrial (money). There is also a law which arrange people to acts rightly.
-Marcellina Fanny (1213005010)-
In this case, I think Syeh Puji should not marry Ulfa because Ulfa is still 12 years old and at her ages she should be at school and play with her peers. This case is not usual for Indonesian people because it is weird to see a 45-year old man married 12-year old girl which the man should be the girl’s father. In my point of view what Syeh Puji has done is an exploitation to children because in her age Ulfa should not work and married. And also Ulfa’s parents should not give permission to Syeh Puji to marry their daughter because they should take care of Ulfa until Ulfa is mature enough to be married. Beside that, in her age, Ulfa needs the figure of her parents, not a figure of a husband. The figure of her parents is important for the psychological development of Ulfa. A research also said that 75% of the married with young girl is ended by divorcing because they are not mature enough to have a family. The parents should consider not to let their young girl married, they must to be responsible to psychological development of their daughter without any reason.
Hhmmm.. actually this kind of case (old man marry under 17 child) is really common happen in some parts of Indonesia (example: Madura, small villages in West Java and many other place). The reasons for this early marriage are various. The reasons could be economic crisis, cultural believe, psychology problems (pedophilia) and many others. All of those various reasons have the same result children mentally and physically abuse. Why I can say it so?!
For most of adults married is a massive thing in life (sometimes it can also become an enormous problem). Adults during their married often face problems and not few of them are divorce. Just imagine if adults in their mature age and already able to think logically are still find a lot of problems and give up in their married, what would be happen to children like Ulfa! Children in Ulfa age are labile. Their mood can easily change and sometimes still lack of logic. They might not only get stress but it can also bring a lot of bad effect to her mental growth.
Another problem that children must face because of too early married is physical problems. Scientists found that the safest age for female to married is after 23 or 25 because under 23 years old women’s body is still in the developing period. Married early can lead to breast and womb cancer and many others health problems. The poor Ulfa might have possibility to face those.
This early married will also make Ulfa and other children lost their children life and teenage life. Actually, at this age they should be able to have plenty of playing time, gather with their friends and opportunity to develop their talent. This losing period in their life might give impact to their character, way of thinking and attitude.
Early married can also lead to the phenomenon of “baby bear baby”. This is completely not good for the mother and the baby condition. The mother who is still teenage or even child may not yet ready to have this big responsibility. The mother can get serious stress and the baby may not get enough care and won’t grow properly. (ex: the baby might not have good immune or many other health problems because of the mother don’t give breast feeding, the baby grow into a rejected child, etc)
At last, I’d like to say that everybody must protect God amazing creature because they are our future. – M.A. Dinda P. 1213006042 -
In my opinion Syekh Puji married the girl just want to help her to solve her problem. but it is crazy i think. in the age of 12 years old, the girl still need a protection from her parents and she also need to continue her education.
But with marry her Syekh Puji has change Alfa's future.Alfa has lose her happines. she must do the house wife things. Although she has been married with this man, she fells very happy and do not want to make divorse with him.
in my opinion just put Syekh Puji in jail and protect the girl.
Syekh Puji is the worst guy for every Islamic person in Indonesia, included Aa Gym!
It is the bad example for Islam person.
Based on some articles, there are some places which not forbidding the people who wants to married with young girl or having a lot of wife (ex: has a wife more than two people).
In Islamic culture, people allow to have more than two wives even if married with a young age girl.
But, according to the news recently that Syekh Puji is concluding one of the richest people in Indonesia; I think his behavior is objectable.
Because Indonesia has a law contains that every human has their own rights, so that, the law forbiden the children to get married soon. At least they have to meddle in age 17.
Besides that, Syekh Puji is a business man. He should be thinking with his smart mind what he wants to do before it's happen.
Maybe in other countries or cultural have an allowance to married under age even parents also support it, the reason they do that to help the family economic problem or maybe to have many descendant.
But, why only Syekh Puji has been exposed by public???
I believe that there are many other people who have the same problem as Syekh Puji, but why they
didn't be expose like Syekh Puji??
Is Syekh Puji only looking for the sensation or truly want a conclusion for his problem??
-Dian 1213005054-
For me, Syeh Puji should not do that. He should realize that his age is too far for Ulfa. Besides, Ulfa doesn't uderstand anything. Ulfa is just 12 years old kid. She is not ready yet for having married, moreover, with a man which is suitable as her father. I have several opinions about this:
1. Syeh Puji must realize his age. He just wants to fulfill his ego by marrying a very young girl. He uses religion as the protector and said that he wants to be a good moslem. I feel disappoint with this old guy.
2. I also wonder why Ulfa's family did this. For a kid in this age, 12-14 years old young girl, playing with a friend becomes her time. She should not having a family in this age. Her emotional stage hasn't fulfilled yet. Her emotion is still unstable.
3. In the age of 12, usually the children have just known of the different sex. Especially the girls, they usually feel uncomforted about this. So, i can't imagine a 12 year old girl gets married with a guy whose age is more than 40 year old.
3. Having a lot of education and playing with friends is the best way for her. Why they should do this to this girl.
I hope Syeh Puji can realize that what he has done is bad and it can ruin the girl's future.
Maria Greciana
1213005001
When i heared this issue, the first impression is shock. The old man married with underage girl?! many people thought that it is phenomena but i'am not,It is not phenomena but it is stupid thing which sheh puji and lutfiana ulfa done.
i think sheh puji has psycho neurotic ,if he is normal man impossible to him to married with underage girl. he just wants to looking for attention in the public and show that he has power and can do anything because he is a rich man and has everything. in fact with his arrogant he said that after this he will married with a younger girl than ulfa.
lutfiana ulfa had brain washed from her parents. they asked ulfa to married in early age with syah puji for help their finance. she don't know that it is dangerous for her healthy. because her reproduction is still not growth perfect . and the important thing is she will lost his period child where she can spend her time to associate with her friends.
renita febriana, 1213006049
In this case, Syeh Puji should not marry Lutfiana Ulfah because she is too younger than him. With this marriage, actually Ulfah will be the victim, she will lost her beautiful childhood and lost her confidence although Syeh Puji promise give Ulfah a good future. However, Ulfah still 12 years old girl, she's not supposed to get married, Syeh Puji use his power to damaged Ulfah's life ( with this marriage)
CHRISTIN OKTAVIA (1213006057)
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